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Thursday, July 24, 2008

fear...thanksgiving... life

Calm in the midst of the storm?  I'd like to say that is a quality I posses, however two nights ago that was not the case.  

On our flight from Atlanta to Jacksonville we encountered a terrible lightening storm.  I've flown a lot in my life and never have I experienced weather like this.. or fear like this... I was sitting in my seat next to Joel (my wonderful husband) and looking out the window thinking:  "There's no way that's lightening... could it be?"  It was so intense that if on the ground I'd probably be hiding in a closer or something - but to be right in the midste of it - IN THE AIR - wow.  I just can't even explain the feeling... just a complete lack of control.  My life - ultimately in God's hands - was at the mercy of the small aircraft and the violent storm around me.

I'd love to look back over those twenty minutes (thought they seemed like hours), and say that I displayed the peace of God, I'd love to say that fear did not seemingly overtake me in the moment, I mean... I know where I'm going, I know that life absent from earth means to be present with God... but I could not help but think that my work here on earth is not yet finished - and I'm grateful for the opportunity to continue in it.  

I don't really have anything profound to say in this blog, I guess this is just me being transparent with all of you.  I look back over that flight with disappointment in myself... I wish I could have been a model of peace and strength - as Joel was to me.  I wish i could have been like the man sitting one row over, quietly meditating on the Bible in front of him.  I wish I could have been as Yeshua was - the quiet in the midst of the storm.  But this time... that was not me.  

We all have weaknesses, and two nights ago mine was definitely made evident.  I'm so blessed that the Lord has given me a husband who not only hears the Word of the Lord and follows - but one is characterized by the peace and strength of God.  I can learn so much from him.... So, thank you Joel, for being an amazing role model for me, and thank you Yeshua for the blessing of life.  

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